Back After Falling Out

What’s up? It’s been nearly a month since my last post, and I haven’t even posted updates on my self-discipline challenge. Why’s that? Well, simply put, I failed miserably.

Also I didn’t just fail my challenge miserably, my whole life fell out of hinges. I fell off all important habits that keep me on track like working out, stretching, meditation… My sleeping pattern flipped around and I was doing nothing productive all day or night. So I’m no closer to getting to Malaysia than a month ago, and I do feel disappointed with myself.

I’m not gonna give off excuses as to why this happened, in fact I think I should look into it more after the fact, now all I need to focus is getting back to track. I’ve been contemplating a few days whether I should get back to my self-discipline challenge, and I think I am going to, at least to some extent. However on some days life just really gets into way of trying to follow a tight schedule like that.

So I’m not going to obsess over making it perfectly every day, instead what I’m aiming for is simply returning to at least basic levels of productivity. I need to stop striving for perfection on 10 % of the days and being completely off on 90 % of the days, and instead maintain consistent effort on 100 % of the days, even if it isn’t perfection.

Some might say that they saw this coming, that a schedule like that is impossible anyway – but I really went beyond just failing that. At the moment, I’m completely failing life and I’m not okay with it. Basically it feels that I’ve returned back to 2010 – it wasn’t any longer than that when all I’d do during my days would be reading blogs, playing games and maybe occasionally writing something. I’m not in a much better place now, let me tell you.

But just like when I don’t stretch for few weeks and restart I feel as stiff as I was years ago and I’m dismayed of it seeming like I’ve lost all the gains of the years of doing it, it only takes a few weeks to come back to that old peak level. It just takes some consistent effort. Any positive effects Japan trip could have had on me were killed off by the fact that I wasn’t putting enough effort in to sustain that momentum.

Another thing that needs changing for me is overthinking where to be productive. Fact is, any productivity is better than no productivity. ┬áSo for instance, I hope to post more on this blog as well, even if this blog is anything but a priority to me right now. In any case, it’s time to start hustling my ass off.

On another note, I’ve also kept pounding out record negative point weeks on my points system… Yeah. Tells exactly how unproductive I’ve been. To beat 2012 weekly average I really need to find a whole another level of self-discipline soon.

Wow. It's Quiet Here...

Be the first to start the conversation!

Leave a Reply:

Gravatar Image