Year turned to 2012. Quickly the realization of my imminent 24th birthday filled my mind. Disillusionment of unrealized dreams loomed over my mind like a dark shadow. I was about to turn 24, and had done nothing with my life – or so it felt.
All my life I had been living in my home, in Finnish countryside, middle of the forest, spending all my time there, not pushing myself at all. I had been anti-social to begin with, and years of more-or-less isolation with very little social life had made it worse. I felt that if I didn’t do something soon, I would be beyond all rescue.
So I made a commitment. I’d travel somewhere come April, no matter what. I picked Paris for the destination. Why? Because it was the most out-of-comfort zone place where anti-social Finnish forest troll could go within Europe, I thought. And I wasn’t fucking around, I wanted to stretch myself as far as possible. This would either make or break me.
I finally started working on my dreams of location-independent, passive income by taking on internet marketing. Still, I wasn’t taking enough action, and still a beginner, so in the end I didn’t make any income. But because I was hellbent on making the trip happen, I did other work too to earn money for the the trip.
Then I was convinced to change my destination from Paris to Malaysia. Distance out of my comfort zone thus got at least doubled, but now I’d at least know someone from there. However, the expenses of the trip soared too, so I had to borrow money to make it happen. But that didn’t matter. If I didn’t do that trip now… If another year would go by without me doing anything, I might as well kill myself, I felt. It might make me sound like I was very depressed, but I was frustrated more than anything. My life was not in alignment with my values. I had been a coward and would not stand for it any more.
Stop being a whiny little bitch or die, I said to myself.
I didn’t settle for some 1 week trip either. No, I was going there for a full month. Now keep in mind that I had never been further than Estonia before that. Yet, when I walked into the airport terminal after already arduous 3 hours of travel in Helsinki, I wasn’t scared at all. No, I was feeling awesome. Of course I was feeling stressed too, but most of all awesome. I was finally acting through my own intentions, doing what I myself wanted to do in life. It felt great.
The plane landed in Malaysia and… it was hard at the beginning. I had a tought time with myself in the beginning. It took me over a week to start accepting that as a forest boy forest Finland, who had never really done anything, not interacted with mass of new people in years, never been really out of country, I would make mistakes. So I stopped to giving myself a hard-time, and found a new level of enjoyment in life.
Without a doubt, that month ended up being the best of my life so far. There was so many firsts that it’s impossible to even list them all. I saw new places, ate new food, grew as a person, forged new relationships and returned home as a better man.
Now? Now I’m back in Finland. Back home. I’m content here. I wouldn’t have ended up being here for 24 years if I wasn’t. But I know that this isn’t everything and shouldn’t be everything. I want to have adventures, just like any young guy like me should. I want adventures not only to give me experiences, but to grow me as a person to new heights. I want to Become Awesome.
That is what this blog is all about. My journey of becoming awesome. Not that I am not already, but “Become More Awesome” or “Become Awesomer” (I know that’s not even grammatically correct) doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. Besides, it embodies the message of this blog. You are not awesome because of what you did yesterday, month ago or a minute ago. Every day and moment you either become awesome again by stepping up and living through your own intentions, or stay lame little pussy by not doing it.
I am not here to make you like me. I am not here to guide you. I am merely throwing ideas at you, and sharing what’s going on in my journey. You may hate me or love me, but ultimately I am just a man. Or forest troll, whichever is your perspective.
Now that the story, reason and the purpose behind the blog is shared, I might as well provide you introductory video to getting to know me on a more personal level. After all the text might have given somewhat harsh, and maybe dark image of me – remember we are all very complex and multidimensional people. I show other sides of me in the video.
Get a more personal feel of me by watching the video below…
That video turned out a bit more goofy than I originally intended in, but I think it strikes a good balance with very serious text. That’s me, there’s at least two (if not more) distinctive dimensions in me.
Also, I recommend checking out First Post.