Archive - July, 2013

Squirming Free of the Self-Hypnosis

First week of Spiral of Awesomeness™ Challenge has passed, and it has lead to a pretty big epiphany as I were fast out of the blocks turning a rut that has lasted a whole year so far into my 2nd most productive week of all-time. 

Laziness is a Self-Hypnosis

It was kind of off-putting to realize few days into the Spiral of Awesomeness™ Challenge that all this time I have just been an unfocused, undisciplined little bitch. I mean on some level I have realized it all along, but when you all the sudden burst into near your past peak performance after having spent the whole year in a rut, it really only makes you realize one thing – inability to do things, laziness, lack of focus… it’s all a self-hypnosis. You just hypnotize telling yourself “it’s hard to write every day for three hours. ” “It’s hard to do 7 hours worth of things every day.”

But it really isn’t hard at all. What happens is just that you never really decided to do it. I’m not saying that you can just decide “oh I’m gonna work 8 hours a day from now on” when all you’ve been doing is smoking weed for past decade. What I am saying though is that the things that probably seem hard to you aren’t as hard as you think they are, if you just commit to it.

Committed Action

Whole idea of setting external rewards for me was ultimately needed to make my brain realize that this is what I’m doing now, and I’m fully committed to it. That’s what is needed – commitment. Real commitment, and by that I mean commitment to the extent that you can show your primitive brain that you are serious about this thing. For me it was rewards what ultimately worked here. In Japan I was on a difficult challenge without having external reward – the environment rooted me to the commitment I had. My brain realized that I was serious about this without external rewards needed.

I’m still by no means being hard-working enough, and my girlfriend who works in the corporate world keeps being baffled how little I get done with my days, but in the end at least now I’m approaching my best so far, and can keep pushing myself further. If anything it just goes to show that I’ve not really demanded enough of myself. Even looking at my dad I see it – my dad’s not the healthiest person in the world by any means, yet he works almost every single hour of the day. He comes home after 10+ hour days and then goes to his workshop to fix something, maybe after just napping.

Makes me see that there really isn’t any excuses. Simple people like my dad never needed personal development. If anything, all self-development can be squeezed into one sentence.

“Just do it.”

Constantly Pushing Yourself

If you just stick to your comfort zone, you’re just gonna set another self-hypnosis on yourself. Things will seem intimidating and difficult to you, and it’s all imaginary. That’s why you need to push yourself to the edge constantly. Remind yourself, time and time again, that it is just a self-hypnosis. I believe I can go much higher than I went last week now. It feels perhaps intimidating and uncomfortable to go for it, but thanks to the epiphany of it all being a self-hypnosis I feel more confident going for it.

You can reach amazing heights if you keep constantly pushing your edge. I’m not talking about productivity even, even though it is the context I’m talking of here. I’m talking of everything. Growing as a person. Pushing yourself is the foundation of really becoming awesome.

For me my new mp3-player is now finally earned, and I will keep pushing for further 7 weeks to earn my final reward as well. We will see if Spiral of Awesomeness™ ultimately is worthy of its name within few weeks.

So yeah, I hope my today’s post wasn’t too banal, as always let me know what you thought of it in the comments.

Train Your Brain

Alright, so as my mailing list members know, I have decided to start to post weekly to my blog, with new post guaranteed to come every Monday. Just wanting to see some consistency in my blog posting. Today I’m gonna talk about training your brain to make it more capable of surviving the demands becoming awesome requires from it and discuss stuff like brain chemistry, which I quite frankly don’t understand anything of. So should be entertaining at the very least!

Is Your Mind in a Haze?

Most people don’t have very clear thinking. I know cause I’ve personally experienced both the clearer thinking and the so-called “haze”. Most people simply have completely wrong state of mind to even think clearly. Their thinking is results-oriented and not process-oriented, which makes them look for shortcuts to get the result instead of fully embracing the process that it requires to get the result?

You still with me on this? No? Well let’s move on anyway. There’s another type of haze (though they often go hand in hand) as well, and that has to do with a lot of things I don’t understand much of, that relate to brain chemistry. With a combination of poor nutrition and other habits, people have messed up brain chemistry that makes their thinking fuzzy, unfocused, and essentially makes them completely lazy. Lack of self-discipline stems from here.

This is the complete opposite of awesomeness. I can’t explain you scientifically what this is based because I’ve not read much about brain chemistry, I just know that that’s the reason it stems from and I have experienced the effects.

My Experience in Hazy Thinking

I was on the top of my life last November. I had just finished a hard work stretch, working more than ever to finish my first ever Kindle book, Healthy Eating. After I finished, perhaps a sense of satisfaction creeped in, and I started to lose the focus that I had. I became lazier and because Christmas time approached, I started eating much more bad foods. I binged on stuff like chocolate and other sweets. Then I got FIFA13 as Christmas present. I was already on a downward spiral, and now even games entered the picture.

All these vices affected to my brain chemistry. As I said, I don’t exactly understand the mechanics, I only understand what I experienced. It has something to do with junk food, games and my other vices affecting my dopamine, which is the hormone in brains that makes sure you do stuff.

So I ended up becoming laziest I’ve ever been. I simply couldn’t fathom pulling myself back to working. I simply wanted to play more FIFA, or binge on junk food. My mind was loose. I was having hard time sitting down and even focusing on writing for a while, let alone for three hours like I do today. The slow process of pulling myself out of it started.

Pulling Out of the Defocused Mind

Like I said, lot comes down to your brain chemistry so things like nutrition help a lot. People who go vegan often cite that they experience much clearer thinking as a result. From what I gather its because of the added greens (veggies = brain food). I’ve not personally experienced this because frankly I don’t load up on greens as much as I even preached in my book. Needless to say, nutrition is a big piece of the puzzle to get your mind focused.

The other part is simply starting to take the right actions to get your brain working for you. My whole Spiral of Awesomeness™ challenge is based around this idea. I want to avoid the things that make my brains fry with instant gratification, such as masturbation and junk food, thus messing up my dopamine levels and probably much other stuff in my brain chemistry, while adding things that build my self-discipline and willpower.

Hard to understand stuff aside, the key distinction here is delayed gratification vs. instant gratification. You need to learn to love delayed gratification and avoid instant gratification. That’s not to say you should cut all instant gratification out of your life, but significantly decrease it. Ultimately learning to go for delayed gratification is better for you.

That’s why I’m strongly opposed to places like Facebook. Essentially Facebook is just this big machine that has millions of people plugged into it to receive small surges of instant gratification, making them inefficient to do much more work as a result.

The way I pulled out of my fucked up mode was to go completely cold turkey on FIFA and improving my nutrition. I found myself starting to write more. Even when I played games with my friend Niko, which we do a lot, I didn’t let my mind get dragged into that results-oriented haze. I focused on the process. Fully immersed myself in it.

This games thing is definitely something I need to look more into in the future, cause I believe that gaming is seriously impairing some of ours ability to work hard. But that’s for another post.

In a nutshell, to get your brain functioning better you need to load up on greens, cut processed shit out of your food intake, and after that just work on your mind. Best ways to train your brain is focused work on some big project, do meditation, and whatever you can do, fully immersed in the process. To get good at focus only way is to practice focus. Focus is essentially the key to training your loose brain into something that’s capable of big feats.

So I hope that made sense, of course let me know in the comments if it did. Speaking of lack of focus, for some reason I always feel my blog posts are haphazard and defocused. Maybe that will get better now that I settle into the weekly posting schedule. See you people next week. I’ll head to my three hours of daily writing again.


Spiral of Awesomeness™

I know many of you probably started thinking I failed my 12-week challenge since I’ve not been posting in over three weeks… Well, the fact is that I’ve been very much succeeding in my challenge and thus not simply had time to write to my blog. In today’s post I’m going to discuss how I’m upgrading 12-week challenge to a whole new Spiral of Awesomeness™ Challenge. 

The Six Hours of Everyday Awesomeness

For this challenge I started with the foundation that it should take 6 hours every day. That way, it is at least theoretically possible for me to do this on top of a 12-hour work day. I need to be capable of that, for those days will come along. So I didn’t add any more than 6 hours worth of habits to it.

While I have all the time on my hands, the challenge will still be difficult because of the time constraints. Let’s go through what the Spiral of Awesomeness ™ Challenge constitutes of. Half of the time goes to the “Path” I’m following, then there’s a good chunk of physical maintenance and one habit of mental maintenance. Ultimately this challenge is all about improving your mental patterns and clarity, as even physical activities improve that.

The Path ~3-4 hours

I’ll tell you a little secret here. For my three hours of writing, it actually takes me 4-5 hours. Why? Cause I’m unforgiving on myself. I actually go by the number I’ve actually written. As you might know, I write on this site called – the site measures the time you’ve actually spent typing.

So if I’m not typing, the minutes won’t rack up. I will just be staring the screen.

But yeah, that’s what I mean by the “path.” The skill or endeavour you’ve chosen as your life path, you do for at least three hours a day, every day, without fail.

During those three hours you just stay as focused on working the skill on your path. It doesn’t even matter that much if you’re working on your big projects. The important thing is to put the practice in, and not be just going through the motions. Focused quality practice.

As much as this activity trains you in whatever you’re doing, it trains your mind in general as well.

For me, writing three hours a day was something horrible initially. I’d rather put a bullet in my head than had to face writing for next three hours. It still doesn’t go smoothly. But the beating of the resistance in itself is what makes it worth it, and what really trains your mind. It brings a sense of accomplishment to every day.

Working out 20 minutes-2 hours

I counted working out as a two hour component, cause basically it takes me that much when I do really hard workouts, counting in all the warm-up etc. that belongs into the process. On those days I’m either physically wrecked from yesterday’s workout, work or from footy, or short on time, I can do just a 20 minute one. I don’t believe in having rest days in your workouts, better just to keep habit up and have active rest by doing easier workouts on those days the exercise regimen is starting to kick your ass.

Stretching/Yoga 30 minutes

For me, stretching works on both your mind and body. The whole idea of yoga is this – you’re fully focused on the movement. Whether its yoga or stretching won’t matter too much, though yoga is generally more effective, but the important thing is to just do this important piece of body maintenance. If I didn’t stretch, and I’ve had a lot of these patches of late, my generally sedentary lifestyle just destroys me.

Meditation 30 minutes

I’ve normally tried meditation only for 20 minutes a time, but people have said the effects are better on 30 minutes, so I will try that. I don’t really care what form of meditation you do. I sort of do it as explained on this video. Only difference I actually do my meditation standing (none of the seated positions feel quite right to me). For me, all it is is just focused presence. Not being caught in the mental chatter. It is still there, but I’m not caught in it. I am yet to ever fully cultivate this habit so I can’t speak for its benefits, but I a lot of people praise it, and its positive benefits are scientifically proven. I know I sound reeaally convincing, but just take my word for it. If you don’t believe in meditation I gotta direct you to this world famous picture of Buddhist monk Thich Quang Duc.

Thich Quang Duc

You can’t deny effects of meditation when seeing that expression.

What strikes me in that picture is how calm and composed he is as he is burning to death. Now I’m not commenting on the act itself, but how focused, how peaceful in your mind you have to be to be burning to death yet not even flinch in pain or in fear? He didn’t move until his charred corpse fell on its back. I’m not saying self-immolation is necessarily admirable, but the way he did it is what really makes me go “I want to be able to do that.” I’m sure if he was here the Spiral of Awesomeness™ Challenge would have been just a joke to him, too easy.

I actually have the picture of him burning as my desktop wallpaper for daily inspiration. But now I’m starting to want to go on tangents, so lets move on.

Only cold showers not long cause you can’t stand it for long

I don’t know and I won’t look up the physiological effects of cold showers. I’d imagine it boosts up your circulation, or something. I don’t really care about that because we areI am only going to do this as a mental challenge for the duration of the challenge, and not as a permanent habit. I got the idea initially from Julien Smith’s excellent free book, The Flinch. He talked how we “flinch” getting under the cold water, and it is similar mental process as going for something that might be a bit scary, like talking to a pretty girl, or doing a video blog in public (speaking from experience here).

Taking only cold showers trains you to go against that mental process. To move forwards, as opposed to retreating when you feel the flinch. It really trains you to recognize it, and to just do it. Get the unpleasantness over with.

Even with as cold as the water is here, you get used to it in few seconds anyway. Well, except for the head. As cold as the  water is here, it cools your head too much so I think its unhealthy.

I couldn’t do this challenge in Malaysia, for the “cold showers” I got in there were actually much warmer than the middle setting is here.

Additional Challenge: 1 hour of reading a day

I admit right away I don’t read enough. So I will throw this challenge on as an “if there’s time” bonus for myself. It takes the theoretical time spending over the pre-designated 6 hours, but for me this is important.

I Will Stop Doing These

To further amp up the mental effects of the challenge, I am going to include some habits I have to stop, because they are messing up your mind and body. Abstaining from these temptations becomes easier because while very busy anyway, but that’s not to say many of these would be challenging on their own, let alone as a part of a bigger challenge like this. Let’s go through the things I want to abstain from.


There’s a whole site dedicated on telling you what’s this all about, called YourBrainOnPorn. I didn’t know if what was said on the site was true when I discovered it in late 2011. It might have been just sensationalist propaganda. But I gave it a shot. I stopped masturbating and porn for two months (one of the hardest things I ever did) and hoo boy, let me tell you. It really had a strong effect on me and my mental clarity. I would imagine it is very individual as well, the effects.

Eight weeks will be almost that same two months so if I manage the challenge again (I’ve pretty much fallen back to my old habits) I should feel the same effects.

Eating junk food

For me, junk food means snack foods like chips and popcorn, all kinds of sweets and soda. Anything that has a lot of refined sugar, really. It all hazies up your mind and causes that same response in dopamine as excessive masturbation, making you lazy as a result (not that I claim I understand anything about brain chemistry. I just understand the effect from experiencing it).

Drinking anything but water

I know what you’re thinking now. “You gotta be kidding me, right?”

No. I’m not kidding.

I personally don’t drink any alcohol, and very rarely soda either. So this only means giving up juice and milk.

Think about it, what sense would it make to cut refined sugars out of your diet, if you still drank soda? What sense would it make to start meditating, if you’re still just re-blurring your mind by taking alcohol? It only makes sense to drink just water.

Water is the best drink. I’m talking pure water here. No carbonated water. No flavored water. Just plain old water. That is only thing that’s allowed.

No music

Look, I have nothing against music and personally love nothing else but obnoxiously listening to metal in public so loud that everyone else can hear what I’m listening in my headphones as well. That said, within the context of this challenge I want my full focus to be in whatever I’m doing. Even for working out I actually have experienced that music pumps you up into higher intensity, but I’m not allowing it for even workouts. For this challenge I want to shift my brain into a more process-oriented mode, where it doesn’t distract itself in any way at all. Normally I’d do stretching at least with music. Now it will just be focused silence.

Wrapping the Spiral of Awesomeness™ Challenge Up

That is the challenge, in a nutshell. Think its difficult enough? It is not as difficult as Self-Discipline Challenge, but there’s a lot of ways I can screw this thing up.

It is a very difficult challenge. I know it myself, and I know that there will be days where I will have spent 12 hours working with dad and come home, having this mountain of tasks waiting still ahead of me. I know that at those days, I’m liable to break.

But I’m going to go for it regardless. I know all these habits would just compound my awesomeness.

It would be impossible if I just started to go without any external motivators. I’m finishing fourth week of 12-week challenge. This was supposed to be the landmark where I earn the purchase of new mp3-player. Now I’m going to shift it’s earning to after first week of this Spiral of Awesomeness™ Challenge. I need it to get moving. Once I’m in the groove, it will get much easier, that’s what I found with the writing three hours challenge in itself. That said, you still need to put in effort every day. I allow myself forgetting couple of times something, cause this really is a lot to remember. During this week I’ve been warming up for the challenge, testing the habits already. I for example forgot I was supposed to drink only water and drank a glass of juice.

Stuff like that might happen once the challenge really starts tomorrow, so I allow myself two times of forgetting something, before counting the challenge failed. The challenge will run for the total of 8 weeks, the amount of time there was remaining in 12-week Challenge. My reward for completion will remain the same, though I don’t really know how I’m going to make another trip to Malaysia if I want to make it to World Cup in Brazil next year as well… But that’s a story for later on.

Ultimately the goal is to whip my mind into completely different shape. Into a more self-disciplined, more aware, more present and more focused shape. No more mental haze.

Let me know what you think of the challenge in the comments. Due to short notice and ridiculous difficulty level of the challenge, I don’t expect anyone to join me, but you might join me on individual habits.